Empowering Manager News January 2007
leadership through partnership
In this issue
-Waiting for Godot
-Grumpy Old....
-Good news about reaching 100
More information
Happy New Year
WAITING FOR GODOT
I make no apology for continuing a theme from November's Empowering Manager News - being in the present moment. Talking with my clients and friends, I find that, like me, they sometimes have thoughts that go like this:
"After this busy time at work finishes, then I can really relax"
"Once Christmas is over, then everything can get back to normal and I can do the things I really want to"
"When I find a new job, I can really start to fulfil my potential"
"When I have someone special in my life, then everything will be just fine"
"When I finish this college assignment I'll be able to have some quality time with my family"
"Once I have my own place to live in, I can really start to be myself again"
If you find yourself saying something like this through gritted teeth, with resignation, resentment or complaint, read on, help is at hand.
This kind of thinking packs a double punch. First, you are left feeling anxious and robbed of enjoying the present moment. Second, even when the "when ..." finally happens, you often still don't get to the pay off. The last crisis at work is over, you're immediately into the next one, and you still haven't been able to relax.
Of course, sometimes, it really is true, there is a difficult time to get through and when we get to the light shining at the end of the tunnel, we will be able to breathe a sigh of relief. And yet, either way, we also have a real choice about how we approach what's happening now.
Here are a four alternative ways I find useful to look at a situation like this:
1 Are the two parts of the sentence really glued together? Is the first essential to getting the second? If the "when ......" is really getting in the way of what you want, do you have to do it at all? What about going straight to what you really want and dropping what you don't want?
2 If you can't drop it, can you have your cake and eat it too? What if you COULD have both, at the same time? Re-frame the sentence to put an AND between the two parts and see how that changes things. Is there a way you haven't thought of that could give you BOTH, right now?
3 If you really can't combine the two,
be fully present with the task in hand and put what's coming later onto the shelf to enjoy later. Let yourself be completely absorbed in what is in front of you now. When that's done, turn your mind to what you want next.
4 If you still can't drop thinking about what you really want, how can you look at the task in hand as a preparation for that. Ask yourself, how is this preparing me for what I really want? How is this leading me to it?
GRUMPY OLD...
In December, a great wave of negative thoughts washed over me. It seemed that every grumble, complaint, resentment, or negative thinking habit anyone ever had, had come to visit. I was blaming others, feeling no good at anything, unwanted, boring, ugly, useless .... You name it, the thoughts were there! It felt a bit like being all the speakers on 'Grumpy Old Women'* at once, but without the laughs. I knew I had to do something. Curious to know what I did? Click here to find out!
GOOD NEWS ABOUT REACHING 100
The views of experts quoted in a recent Guardian article about the rising numbers of people reaching age 100 caught my eye. (read the whole article at http://www.guardian.co.uk/guardianweekly/story/0,,1987161,00.html)
"We're reaching old age in better and better shape but fatalism must be avoided at all costs. ..... Ageing is malleable and genes only account for a quarter of it."
".... even nonagenarians who have lost muscle strength can get it back."
"Centenarians teach us that the older you get the healthier you have been. .... This compression of morbidity .... means they spend more time living healthily and less time dying."
And it's not only about physical health. When it comes to older people's own views about how well they are ageing, "Optimism and effective coping strategies were found to be more important ... than traditional measures of health and wellness."
At the older people's Day Care Centre where I teach Tai Chi, I am inspired and uplifted constantly by the cheerfulness and determination of those attending. Two people with Parkinsons tremors in particular come to mind. They never give up, even when a simple action like putting on a coat can take a long time, with many attempts before succeeding. I feel grateful and honoured to have such people in my life when I receive a smile and friendly greeting from them each week.
Very best wishes for a successful, enjoyable, happy and healthy 2007.
Alison Smith CPCC
Empowering Manager
leadership through partnership
IN THIS ISSUE
- Waiting for Godot
- Grumpy old...
and
- Good news about reaching 100
TWO INVITATIONS
1 Claim your Introduction to Using Get Unstuck & Get Going. Don't leave your copy to gather dust, USE IT! I'll be delighted to take you through the Get Unstuck process on the phone in a 45 minute One to One telephone call.
2 Are you...
Preparing for an important meeting or job interview?
Feel ready for a big change? or do you Simply want to get clear on what you want next in your life?
a One to One
conversation on Thursday afternoon/evenings. Contact Alison for more information or check the website.
Reduced fees until the end of February to celebrate International Coaching Week
4-10 Feb 2007.
AND
TWO MORE RESOURCES
STUCK?
The award winning and powerful self coaching tool that gets you going on the stuff that really matters
AND
by
Richard David Carson
A great cure for attacks of "Grumpy Old..."
thinking habits
*'Grumpy Old Women'
is a UK BBCTV programme in which witty women talk about everyday moans and grumbles, making them sound very funny.
